Intentional Motherhood: From Barely Surviving to Thriving Mentally, Emotionally, Abundantly

Kelsey Redd: 00:00

We are immersed in scarcity. That's what consumerism relies on is a feeling of scarcity. And if we live in this scarcity mindset all the time, it doesn't just affect our money or our energy and our patience. It affects every part of our lives. It affects the way we make decisions.

Kelsey Redd: 00:21

It affects the way we use our time. It really affects the way we even view or think about what is possible for our future and our family. Are you craving more peace and presence at home but feel constantly overwhelmed by your to do list? Welcome to Intentional Motherhood. I'm Kelsey Redd, a mental health counselor turned stay at home mom teaching busy Christian moms to make mindset shifts so they can actually enjoy motherhood.

Kelsey Redd: 00:48

Did you know that I send out newsletters so that you never have to miss anything going on with intentional motherhood? Head over to the show notes or the website creatingintentionalmothers.com to get signed up today. Hey friends, welcome to Intentional Motherhood. I am so happy to be with you and I have had this conversation come up now in several conversations with friends that I felt like it was a sign that I needed to address it here on the podcast. And that is this idea of there's just not enough, right?

Kelsey Redd: 01:19

Whatever the next word in that sentence is, it's always there's I just don't have enough, fill in the blank time, energy, money, space, whatever the thing is, it just keeps coming up and I'll be talking to moms and it's just like I'm just trying to do all these things and at the end of the day I still haven't gotten everything done that I needed to do today. Or I just want to be able to do all this but I just don't have enough energy to do it. Or I'm trying to provide this amazing opportunity for my kids but there's just not enough of me to go around. And it really has, you know, because it's come up so frequently lately, it's got me thinking. You know, we get into this mindset of you wake up and you're already behind in something, right?

Kelsey Redd: 02:10

Before your feet even hit the floor you're already thinking about all the things you don't have enough of. Whether it's time, energy, patience, all the things. And this is the problem. When we are in a constant state of I don't have enough, that's what we call a scarcity mindset. And the reason this is such an issue is because whatever the thing is, is not the actual that doesn't even matter.

Kelsey Redd: 02:40

It's not about how much energy you have. It's not about how much time you have. We all have know, people hate it when you say this and so I'm going to be really careful in the way I say it, but we all have the same twenty four hours. Know, you've seen those Instagram memes where it's like, no, my twenty four hours is not the same as yours. But when it comes down to it, we all have to make decisions and choices about priorities and about how we use our resources.

Kelsey Redd: 03:09

But the internal belief that there is not enough, that's the issue. That's the thing I'm trying to talk about right now, not about our circumstances. Because the truth is that our circumstances actually change. What we have the most control over is our mindset and is the belief system that we are creating and implementing through habitual and repetitive thoughts and behaviors and actions. So this is how this shows up in motherhood.

Kelsey Redd: 03:45

When you feel like you are constantly rushed, you're rushing everything, you're hurry up to finish this meal so that we can get to the next thing, so that we can hurry up and do this, so that we can hurry over to this thing. When you're constantly rushed, which for me typically leads to being very easily frustrated and snapping quicker at my kids like, no, we don't have time for that. You have to get over here. And when you're feeling like you're multitasking all the time, all the time, because that's the only way to get it all done. This is that scarcity mindset in practice, That feeling of just never being able to just sit down and relax and be still, be present.

Kelsey Redd: 04:26

Or maybe you try to do that and then you feel guilty about it because you feel like you should be doing something else. Or even sometimes I think that need, that feeling of needing to constantly be busy and doing something more leads us to just escape through like scrolling on our phones to think we're doing something. At least we're keeping our brain active rather than just being comfortable with the ability to just rest and be calm and be still. So here's the issue. When your body believes that there's never enough, there isn't enough, it goes into that urgency state.

Kelsey Redd: 05:08

And when we're in this constant pressure and stress and urgency state, we leave no room for peace and calmness. And again, our body believes what we continually repeat and allow it to believe and act on. We've talked about this in past episodes where our thoughts create actual chemical changes, which create emotions, which trigger physiological reactions. And so what we think turns into an actual physical and physiological reaction. And that's what I mean when I say when your body believes there isn't enough, when your body is constantly in a chemical and physiological state of stress because of the thoughts you've been thinking.

Kelsey Redd: 05:56

But what if we could change our mindset? What if we could change our thought patterns and shift from this scarcity mindset of not enough, not enough, but actually start making an intentional choice in the way we direct our thoughts and our energy into a more abundant mindset. Abundance looks like creating time for what matters, having enough presence to enjoy your kids and be with them, engaged with them. Abundance is actually guarding and protecting your energy rather than leaking it all over to things that you don't actually care as much about as you maybe think you do. Abundance is having enough space to just breathe and to feel like you have enough capacity to respond intentionally rather than constantly reacting.

Kelsey Redd: 06:51

And it's really easy to think that, Oh, I can have this abundant mindset when life gets easier, when I have more time because my kids are in school or when everyone's grown up and I'm not dealing with changing diapers or when my kids can be more helpful. But this is the problem, right? We always think that we can be happy when or everything will be better when. And it actually, the responsibility lies in ourselves to create the experience, the reality that we want to be living. And so when we start to shift our thoughts and our energy and our intention into these more abundant mindsets, we actually do create a reality that feels more aligned.

Kelsey Redd: 07:36

I want to give you some practical tools because you guys know that I love to give you practical tools. And the first one will be awareness. I want you to just start to notice when you say things like I can't, there's not enough, I don't have enough time, or not now, you know, all of those kinds of language. And I want you to start reframing it into rather than there's not enough time, maybe say something like, I'm choosing to do this right now because that's what matters most rather than constantly rushing, being able to start saying more no's. There is a book that I absolutely love and I recommend for all of you.

Kelsey Redd: 08:17

It's called Essentialism by Greg McCown. And one of my favorite quotes in there is, say a quick no and a slow yes. And I really like this idea because it reminds us that you don't have to say yes to everything just because maybe the current of society is rushing you down that path. You might feel like well you're just supposed to sign your kids up for three summer camps and four different sports and you're just supposed to make sure that they don't fall behind so you're doing extra practicing and you're just supposed to always be doing all the things. You're supposed to be keeping your house clean.

Kelsey Redd: 08:58

But rather than feeling like everything you have to do everything, can you narrow it down a little bit to what really matters? What do I value the most at this time? And that can shift, right? But if you can say a quick no and a slow yes to what really matters, then you will be slowly eliminating things from your life that don't actually align with the energy that you want in your home and maybe don't even align with what you truly value. And when you start to eliminate the things that don't bring value and joy to your life, then you might actually start to realize that you have more of what you do love, including just more slowness or more presence, more rest, more imagination time, more creativity.

Kelsey Redd: 09:49

And those are the things that for you and your children are so critical to actually feeling joy. Let me kind of summarize these tools because I kind of got a little off on a tangent. We have awareness of just noticing what you're thinking and saying, the language that you're using. And then the second tool is reframing it to rather than I don't have enough time, No, I'm choosing to do what I want to do right now. And then slowing down by saying more no's.

Kelsey Redd: 10:19

Abundance creates space to allow, right? So maybe even just for thirty seconds to just sit and breathe, or maybe just take a moment to really look at your kids. When was the last time you just really like looked at them and watched what they were doing and noticed the joy or the expression, the emotion and just appreciated that for what it was. I say this because just the other night I was putting my kids to sleep and I don't know, was just in a good mindset. And so as I was putting my children to sleep and their eyes were closing, I was just looking at them and realizing this is what I wanted.

Kelsey Redd: 10:57

This is what I dreamed of. This is what I've waited so many years for. And this was what I knew would be the best thing in my life. This right here. This moment, this little child, this interaction.

Kelsey Redd: 11:11

And when I realized that I thought, I just don't want to waste any of the other time not enjoying this. I want to stay in this mindset all the time where I remember that, Oh yeah, this was what mattered. This was what I cared about. So just looking at your kids and maybe even resetting your body, you know, with those deep breaths, that going out barefoot on the grass and just grounding yourself for a moment. And we really do have to put in the work and the effort to make these changes because in the society that we live in, we are immersed in scarcity.

Kelsey Redd: 11:48

That's what consumerism relies on is a feeling of scarcity. And if we live in this scarcity mindset all the time, it doesn't just affect our money or our energy and our patience. It affects every part of our lives. It affects the way we make decisions. It affects the way we use our time.

Kelsey Redd: 12:08

It really affects the way we even view or think about what is possible for our future and our family. This pattern shows up not only in motherhood, it shows up in the way we think about money, in like I said, the opportunities for our future and the kind of life that we believe we can create. And I want you guys, you guys know that this podcast is all about creating the life you want. And I don't want you to be held back by limitations of a scarcity mindset of feeling like, well, I can't do that because there's not enough time or that'll never happen because there's not enough money or I just can't be that kind of mom because I just don't have enough energy. That is not aligned with the life you want to create and the mother you want to be.

Kelsey Redd: 12:52

So I want you guys to start practicing, putting in the work, putting in the effort to intentionally change the way you think and you talk, to shift into a more abundant mindset that allows, right? Abundance allows. It is open to receiving and it is spacious. So start taking these this week to use these tools that I've shared with you to realize that it's not that you're behind, it's not that you're failing and it's not that you just need more time. You actually just need a new internal starting point.

Kelsey Redd: 13:28

You need a new internal clean slate because that shift is going to allow everything to change for you. And we'll keep talking about this in the future because you guys know I'm so into this idea of allowing yourself to be a co creator with the divine source, with the universe, capital U, with the creator of the universe to create a life that's beautiful and that brings you authentic joy every day. Can you imagine if all the mothers that are listening to this podcast just felt authentic joy every day in their life and in their role as a mother, how that would affect their children, how that would affect their families, how that would affect generations and generations, and eventually how that would change the world. That's what we're doing here on Intentional Motherhood and I appreciate you being here with me I will see you next time on Intentional Motherhood. Thanks for joining me today on Intentional Motherhood.

Kelsey Redd: 14:26

If you enjoyed this episode, would you take thirty seconds to rate and review it so more and more moms can find this podcast? I'll see you next time and until then remember, you're doing an amazing job.