25 | The Secret to Helping Kids Self-Soothe—Understanding the Vestibular System
Hey friends, welcome back to Intentional Motherhood. I'm your host, Kelsey Redd, a mental health counselor turned stay at home mom with four young, active little kids. And I am so glad you're here today because this episode is going to be one of those game changer moments for you. Because we're gonna talk about something that might not be on your radar just yet, but once you understand it, it's going to shift the way you look at your child's behavior, their meltdown, and even their play. Today, we're diving deep into the vestibular system.
Kelsey Redd:And if you're thinking the what now? Don't worry, I got you. We're going to talk all about this. And I'm even going to give you two tools that you can bring into your home that will help your children self soothe and regulate their emotions without your help. So maybe you've heard of the vestibular system before from an OT or in a parenting article or something, but today we're really going to unpack what it is, what it's made of, and how it communicates with the brain, and why certain movements are such a vital part of your children's regulation.
Kelsey Redd:And if you're like me and you love geeking out over neurobiology and how God designed our bodies and brains to work together, then you're in luck because we're get a little nerdy here. So what is the vestibular system? The vestibular system is our internal sense of balance and spatial orientation. This is the system that helps us know where our head is in space, whether we're moving or not moving, how fast we're moving. This is the system that is really active in children and makes it so that they can spin and spin and spin, and they don't get sick, whereas adults who have a less active vestibular system start to get dizzy a lot faster.
Kelsey Redd:So the vestibular system is located in the inner ear, and it has a couple main functions. It helps us with our sense of balance, which is why when you get a head cold or an ear infection, you can feel that vertigo because those inner ears are clogged up and that is affecting your sense of balance and even your spatial orientation. So the first function is that it helps us with our balance and the second function is that spatial orientation that I was referring to. And it actually detects movement. It can detect rotational movement like the spinning and rolling and turning that kids tend to enjoy.
Kelsey Redd:And it also detects our acceleration and gravity, like going up and down in an escalator, as well as swinging back and forth and even jumping. So when your head moves, the fluid in the structures of the inner ear shifts, which bend tiny little hair cells, and all that sends signals to your brain about what kind of motion you're experiencing. Which if that isn't a testament to God's creation of our body, because what attention to detail is that, that these tiny organs and these tiny hair cells can perform such an important function, then I don't know what else is. This is what I love studying about. So the vestibular system isn't just about the balance and the detection of where you are in space, it's actually a central hub for sensory processing.
Kelsey Redd:It has strong connections to the brainstem, which is really important because this is what controls our autonomic nervous system, things like heart rates, breath, and basic survival responses, as well as to our limbic system, which is our emotional brain, the same thing that manages fear, connection, and memory. So because of these connections, the vestibular system directly affects if we're feeling safe or calm or alert or overwhelmed. So when you're having a child that is spinning or jumping or rocking or swinging, they're not just playing necessarily, they're actually influencing their nervous system. So these certain kinds of movements that stimulate the vestibular system also regulate the nervous system. Because it provides sensory grounding, kids might spin or rock or swing when they're dysregulated or feeling lost in space, spacey or zoned out.
Kelsey Redd:This movement can help them come back to their center, both physically and emotionally. These movements, particularly slow and rhythmic inputs to the vestibular system, such as swinging or rocking, can actually activate the parasympathetic nervous system. And you guys have heard me talk about the parasympathetic nervous system because this is the rest and digest or the calming part of our nervous system. When our parasympathetic nervous system is activated, it calms the heart rate down, it slows our breathing, and it says to the brain basically, You're safe now. It helps us shift out of the sympathetic nervous system, which is our stress response, or fight or flight response.
Kelsey Redd:So this is why, you're probably starting to understand, this is why rocking a baby helps them to calm down because of that vestibular input. Other amazing effects of vestibular input are sharpening attention and even improving coordination, as well as supporting memory integration, and altogether helping integrate other sensory systems such as proprioception so that your child can feel centered in their body. So what does this mean for you as a parent? You might want to start asking yourself, is my child getting opportunities to move their body in a way that stimulates this vestibular system and gives them really balanced, rhythmic vestibular input throughout the day. For instance, do they have an opportunity to spin and jump and swing?
Kelsey Redd:Or are they stuck sitting all day or watching a screen? Because when we provide opportunities for these movements, spinning, swinging, jumping, rolling, and even climbing, we are giving their nervous system the input it needs to stay organized, grounded, and resilient. And you might start to notice fewer meltdowns, maybe increased focus, even better sleep, easier transitions, and just overall emotional flexibility or adaptability. And kids, this is the part I love the most, kids intuitively know this. We see kids loving to roll down hills or spin, just spin in circles for no other reason other than spinning, jumping on a trampoline, right?
Kelsey Redd:Kids love this. And I feel like we need to trust our children's instinctual understanding of their needs so that they can regulate themselves. So here are the two tools that I'm going to encourage you to find access to so that you can encourage this kind of self regulation and self soothing with your children. First is a swing. We have a little hammock swing that we just have screwed into our ceiling so that our kids have an opportunity to go sit in that swing and it can spin and it can just swing.
Kelsey Redd:They do this mostly for fun, but I actually bought it years ago when one of my twins, my daughter, was much younger and I recognized that she was very difficult to soothe. She had a hard time calming down when she was a baby. And I wanted something where we could feel safe and cozy and I could just swing her back and forth. I would hold her in my arms and we'd swing on that swing for as long as we needed for her to be able to regulate her emotions a little bit. And it became something that she knew was going to be a safe place for her.
Kelsey Redd:I'm thinking she was probably around like a little over a year or so, so not quite in that newborn stage, but still needing help to regulate. And because it could be exhausting for me as the mom to have to hold her in pace with her or rock her or bounce her in my arms, we got this swing. It's a hammock swing, it really surrounds you and holds you tight and close. And we would swing in that and we could spin and we could rock side to side as well as front and back. And it was a really great tool and still is a really great tool for our family for some emotional regulation.
Kelsey Redd:The second tool I encourage every family to have is some sort of trampoline or something that kids can bounce on. We have a big trampoline in our backyard and our whole family loves it all the time, but you could also just have a little mini trampoline or something else small that kids can bounce on that you can encourage them to bounce on. We're always telling our kids, don't jump on the couch, don't jump on the bed. Let's make sure they have something to bounce on so we can say, go over to the little trampoline and bounce your little heart out until you're regulated. I use these two tools in different situations.
Kelsey Redd:When a kid is having an emotional breakdown, it seems to me that they need more of that slow rhythmic movement of the swing to help them just calm down and regulate. Whereas when my kids are bouncing off the wall or getting aggressive and crazy and wild, that's when I usually send them out to the trampoline outside and say, Go jump. Sometimes we even send them on missions and say, Go do 100 jumps and then come back in and we can work on the chore that you're resisting or whatever it is. And that seems to help them activate their regulation and come back ready to engage with a little bit more attention and focus than they had before. So if your child is bouncing off the walls or spiraling into overstimulation or overwhelm, it may not always be a discipline issue, it may actually be a vestibular need.
Kelsey Redd:And once you see that, once you start to meet their need for movement instead of resisting it, your whole parenting lens shifts. It's not necessarily about doing more, it's not about controlling more. Sometimes it's just about understanding more and understanding that kids have intuitive understanding of what they need. And you might want to actually encourage your kid to go outside and spin around or to hop on a swing and swing for ten minutes when they're having a hard time. And that can help alleviate some of the overwhelm and disciplinary issues that you're maybe facing.
Kelsey Redd:So if this episode sparked something in you, I would love for you to leave a review so other moms can find it, or better yet, just share it with a friend who may also be navigating sensory challenges or wants to understand their child a little more deeply. As always, I'm here cheering you on as you build a home rooted in peace, connection, and presence. So I will see you next time on Intentional Motherhood.