24 | 3 Power Struggles I Don't Fight as an Exhausted Mom
Hi, friends. Welcome back to Intentional Motherhood. I'm your host, Kelsey Redd, a stay at home mom with four little ones and a whole lot of parenting opinions. Disclaimer, this is one of those episodes that is just my opinion that I'm sharing with you. Take it for what it's worth.
Kelsey Redd:But today's episode is for the mom who feels like she's constantly saying no, or would you please just do it because I said so 47 times before breakfast. If you feel like your day is just an entire series of mini power struggles, then this is for you. Because here's the truth, I only have so much energy and I have learned the hard way that I just can't fight, much less win every battle. So I've just stopped trying. And in today's episode, I'm sharing three battles that I just don't fight anymore.
Kelsey Redd:Not because I don't care, but because I care about other things more. So let's jump in. Battle number one that I don't fight is hair. How my kid's hair looks and is styled. Do we leave the house with bed head sometimes?
Kelsey Redd:Maybe all the time? Yes, we do. Unfortunately, there are times when I try to brush my daughter's hairs and they are just not interested. That's fine. Why?
Kelsey Redd:Because I'm handling a million other things in the morning, like packing snacks, dealing with sibling drama, and just trying to get out the door on time. And I don't always have the energy to fight my daughter who's not allowing me to brush her hair. So we love having nice, cute, done up hair. I love it when my girls let me do that. But it's also not as important to me as starting the day out with connection instead of conflict.
Kelsey Redd:So of course, I gladly do their hair if they let me, and honestly, I ask almost every day if I can please do their hair. But when it's gonna turn into a fight, I'd rather just say, Don't worry babe, you look perfect just like you are. So that's one battle I don't fight. The second battle is clothes. I don't fight over what my kids wear, As long as it's mostly weather appropriate and safe and reasonable, that's pretty much as far as I go.
Kelsey Redd:I don't really waste time trying to get them into a cute outfit now that they are old enough to have their own opinions and their own preferences? Because I've realized it's just not worth the standoff. And honestly, I love seeing my kids express their personality through what they choose to wear. So typically, I let my kids choose. I'd rather save my energy for other things that actually matter, like teaching my kids kindness and responsibility than to argue over outfits.
Kelsey Redd:So letting go of control over clothes has freed up a lot of mental bandwidth. The last battle I don't fight is the battle over shoes. Are the shoes on the right feet? Are they matching? Are they wearing shoes at all?
Kelsey Redd:Who knows? I pick my moments when it really matters, and if it's dangerous, then maybe I'll intervene. But honestly, you'll see my kids barefoot 99% of the time. Or I have one daughter who sometimes is wearing one boot and one sandal. That's fine with me.
Kelsey Redd:In fact, these are also amazing opportunities where natural consequences can teach my kids better than I could contrive of consequences. Maybe their feet are cold or hot or uncomfortable, and guess what? Next time, choose different shoes. Getting out the door without fights and tears is a win in my book. So whether or not they're wearing shoes is a low priority for me.
Kelsey Redd:So at the end of the day, this really just comes down to my mental energy and my priorities. I only have so much mental and emotional bandwidth, and I want to use it on what really matters. I want to teach my kids to be kind. I want to teach them to show respect to me and to others. I want them to learn to take responsibility for their own choices, including what they're wearing.
Kelsey Redd:So fighting about their clothes, their hairs, their shoes, it just drains me. It puts me into that nagging mom mode and sets a tone that I don't even want to have for our day. So if you're in a season where it feels like everything is a power struggle, I want to offer you this permission. You don't have to fight every battle to be a good mom. You're allowed to strategically surrender some things in protection of your own energy, and your connection with your kids, and your peace of mind.
Kelsey Redd:Because honestly, the less I fight about the little things, the more space I have to teach them about the big things that matter. And again, this is just one mom's opinion. I love when I see adorable, put together girls with a cute outfit and amazing hair. And every once in a while, I have one of those days. And I don't judge anyone who parents one way or the other.
Kelsey Redd:When I see a kid in PJs with bed head, I can relate. When I see a kid with cute outfits and cute hair, I'm like, good for you, mama. But if my kid wants to wear rain boots with a swimsuit, I let them. I'm just gonna save my battles for those that build character and that are more important to me. So here's your permission slip.
Kelsey Redd:You're allowed to choose where you spend your energy and see it as being wise in the way you use your mental energy, because that's what your kids really need. So thanks for being here with me today. I hope this episode made you breathe a little easier and hopefully realize that you're not alone if you can't get all your kids put together nicely before you leave the house because I'm right there with you. So if this episode encouraged you, please leave a review or even share it on your social media so that other moms can find a little bit of encouragement as well. And as always, keep showing up, keep choosing peace over perfection, and trust your instincts because you are doing better than you think.
Kelsey Redd:Until next time, I'm cheering you on. I'll see you next time on Intentional Motherhood.