23 | Your Daily Self-Care Plan for Busy Moms (Free Guide Inside!)
Hey friends, welcome to Intentional Motherhood. I'm your host, Kelsey Redd, a stay at home mom of four, twins included, all six and under. And I am right there in the trenches with you with the milk spills and the dirty diapers and the endless laundry. And we have created here a community of uplifting moms where we can talk about the struggles and challenges of motherhood, but do it from a place of purpose and sacred calling so that we can continue to find the joy in this privilege of raising these little ones. And because we know what a sacred calling this is, we parent intentionally so that we can create the family culture that we're proud of, have a calm home, and take care of ourselves so that we can feel like a whole person, a whole woman with dreams, ambitions, and goals of our own, as well as passion and purpose in motherhood and family.
Kelsey Redd:So let's get started because today I have a special treat for you. I have created a whole self care guide to help you come up with ideas and a plan for how to implement your self care practices. I created this guide for you because I kept hearing from friends and listeners that, yes, I know I'm supposed to be doing self care, but I don't even know what to do. I don't have free time. How do I even do it?
Kelsey Redd:It's like we all know we're supposed to eat our vegetables and take our vitamins, but it's the implementation that is the challenge. So I wanted to make something that was straightforward and easy for you to have ideas of what to do, have a plan for how and when to do it. And most importantly, this is the key here, is to have your why, your commitment for why it's critical for you to do your self care so that you're more likely to follow through, along with a little area for reflection so you can see what's working and what isn't working. If you would love to follow along on this guide as I talk through this episode, go ahead and pause now and jump over to my Instagram account creating. Intentional.mothers and click on the link in bio and grab your self care planner freebie.
Kelsey Redd:It'll be sent right to your email inbox. And then you can follow along as we go through this whole self care guide. So the first thing you're gonna get on this self care daily planner is a list of 30 ideas of ways to do self care. Because so much of the time we're like, I mean like, are we talking like take a warm bath? Are we talking about going to a yoga class or getting a massage?
Kelsey Redd:Because all of that self care sounds amazing, but totally impractical, right? So these 30 items are split up into categories of mind and emotions, where you're kind of just getting more in touch with your thoughts and feelings with ideas such as journaling, doing five minutes of deep breathing, maybe listening to a guided meditation, or even repeating affirmations. We also have a body and physical wellness section where maybe we're talking about just walking barefoot in the grass to ground yourself for a couple minutes or stretching for a couple minutes while you're doing something else, while you're watching your baby. We even have listed on here to take a hot shower because sometimes that's the best self care we can take. Now, I wouldn't necessarily classify just taking a shower as self care because that is self hygiene, right?
Kelsey Redd:That's a requirement, just a basic necessity of life. But if we can take a hot shower mindfully, maybe with a couple essential oils dripped into the corner of the bath to give us another sensory experience, then we are starting to talk about self care because we're doing it in a way that refreshes and rejuvenates our mind and our soul. So keep that in mind. Another one is rest. Can you lay down and close your eyes?
Kelsey Redd:Maybe you'll get so lucky as to take a nap. But I also understand that again, some of these things feel like I'm with you. I have two six year olds, a four year old and a one year old. I try so hard. This happened literally ten minutes ago.
Kelsey Redd:The moment I finally get comfortable on the couch, I open my scriptures and I'm thinking, oh, I'm just gonna have like five minutes to just read and just relax. And what do I hear? Mom, done going potty. Which is the call I get a few times a day from my finishing up potty training four year old, meaning I have to go wipe a bum. So we do the best we can.
Kelsey Redd:Maybe we are not gonna get a nap, but maybe you can take a glass of water and slowly and mindfully take sips and swallows of some cold refreshing water and that is your self care for the moment. Lastly, we have the category of creativity and play. This might just be a doodling or coloring just for fun. No expectations, no perfection. Or I like this one, just try baking something with zero pressure for outcome.
Kelsey Redd:Maybe you're just going outside to stargaze before you get into bed one night, or just actually playing with your kids without trying to multitask. Can we consider that self care? This is a little controversial because it's like, can playing with your kids actually be self care? But you know what? Kids are so good at teaching us how to be creative and how to be imaginative and how to just play.
Kelsey Redd:I'm constantly amazed by my children's ability to laugh, to have no pressure for productivity or outcomes and to just play for the sake of playing. And sometimes I think we need to learn from them. They set a really good example to us. So that's the first thing that comes in your guide is this list of ideas. If you hate all the ideas, that's okay.
Kelsey Redd:Hopefully it at least gives your brain some juices to start flowing to come up with your own ideas. But my goal was for you to not have to overthink this, to not have to put any of the mental work into coming up with your own ideas. So the next steps in my guide are to prioritize some of the top 10 beneficial self care practices. So you might be thinking like, you know what? I am not really bather.
Kelsey Redd:I don't love baths. I'm not even going to put that on my top 10 list. Or maybe I'm not a journaler, so that's not interesting to me. But I do love the idea of making a smoothie or a healthy snack that I can mindfully eat. So that might be feeling very beneficial to you or even one of the ideas is just turning off your cell phone for an hour and enjoying some silence.
Kelsey Redd:So I want you to rank them from one being most beneficial to you to your tenth, which would be like your lowest in the beneficial rank for you. Then you're going to rank them again in order from most realistic, as in like I can actually do this in a day to least realistic. Your number one, your most realistic might be like I know that I can at least find a moment to take a glass of cold water and sip it mindfully. That is realistic, I'll actually be able to get there. Whereas your tenth might be like, I would love the idea of sitting down and listening to a guided meditation, but knowing my kids, knowing my family, I just don't know if I'm gonna get ten minutes of uninterrupted uninterrupted time to get into that zone.
Kelsey Redd:So then you've got two rankings. And then I want you to circle your top three that are both most beneficial to you and most realistic to you. Those will be the ones that have the lowest number, as in number one most beneficial and number one most realistic. There should be some overlap that you'll find and you want to find the lowest numbers so that you can say, These are the things that I think will help me the most and that I actually think I can do. And once you've gotten your list of things that you can use as easy go to self care plans, Then you can move on to your daily plan worksheet in this guide where you will be writing your top three things that you need each day to fill your cup and to help you be your best.
Kelsey Redd:And you'll write those into the boxes and this is where it gets interesting. This is where you write down your commitment. I have the words started for you. I commit, dot dot dot, sipping a glass of cold water, walking outside in the grass, and taking one hour without my cell phone on my person each day. Or maybe it's even, I commit to one of these each day.
Kelsey Redd:Or maybe it's, I commit to doing all three of these throughout the course of one week. Whatever that commitment looks like for you, I want you to put it down in a commitment statement because we are so much more likely to follow through when we have a written commitment. But the second part of the sentence is because. So you're writing your commitment and you're writing why. Why do you deserve these moments of self care?
Kelsey Redd:Why are these your right and your responsibility? These might sound like, I commit to doing this self care because I want to be the best mom I can be for my kids, or because I am worthy of respect and self compassion. Or maybe it's even I commit to doing this because I want to set an example to my family of what it looks like to take care of yourself. This why is going to be so important because when you inevitably get busy and the chaos takes over and you're thinking, whatever, maybe I'll just indulge in Netflix binging instead of journaling. You're going to remember the why and say, oh yeah, but I really want to be the best version of myself.
Kelsey Redd:I really want to be the kind of woman that I want my daughters to grow up to be. So I'm gonna make the choice to do what I've committed to do, to prioritize my own self care so that I can fulfill this why. Okay, then the next box again gets back into the practicality of how and when. And again, I know that sometimes it's impossible to even predict what a day might look like with your kids and you might say, I'm going to do this right after breakfast. And then you're in the middle of managing a tantrum right after breakfast and that's not gonna happen.
Kelsey Redd:But you may be able to at least specify like first thing in the morning or at least I know where I'm gonna do it in my bedroom right after I put a baby down for a nap. Or I'm gonna ask my husband to help with the kids for an extra ten minutes while I can go have some alone time. Or it might even look like taking all the kids to the park and saying, Mom's gonna go walk across this field. Do you wanna come with me? Because I'm grounding myself in the grass right now and this is my self care and this is the only way to get it done.
Kelsey Redd:So the how and the when will make it that much easier for you when you're ready to move forward because you won't have to be going through that mental load of decision making and figuring out, okay, but it's so much to manage. Sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed with the anxiety of trying to manage all the schedules and all the needs of every different person in my family. But if this how and when is at least written out, you'll have a guide to get you there. And then the last box in the self care guide is for reflection. Once a day in the evening or the next morning or even once a week, just reflect on what worked and what didn't work while you were trying to practice your self care tasks.
Kelsey Redd:Do you need to rearrange your how and when to make it more realistic for you? And also maybe reflect on, did you notice any shifts in your day or your energy, or even just your ability to be present with your kids because of the practice? Maybe you realize that you were actually drawn a lot more to the play and creativity than you thought you would be. And now you know you wanna explore more ideas in that category. It's so beneficial to take time to reflect so that we can make sure our path is the most aligned with what is of most value to our soul and most actionable, right?
Kelsey Redd:Most reasonably going to be able to be implemented day to day on an ongoing basis. Because you might be able to get through some of these self care practices for a few days and then the habit falls apart because it's just not realistic. But as we're reflecting and adjusting and making the tweaks so that it really works for your life, that's when it will really be able to become a habit and a true lifelong practice. So like I said, I hope that this guide, whether you're just listening to it or whether you've got the paper in front of you, will really help you. If you would like to have this guide sent directly to your email, go grab it off of my bio on Instagram at creating.
Kelsey Redd:Intentional. Mothers, or from the show notes below so that you can get the most out of this episode. I want to just end a little differently than we usually do. I want to end with just two minutes of a little bit of a meditation so that you can really get a sense of how simple this can be. I feel like I've talked a lot about mindfulness and taking a few breaths and, you know, just clearing your mind and saying these things in your mind on so many of these episodes.
Kelsey Redd:And I'm worried that it's not translating. It's not actually getting put into practice because you're like, it's not coming really naturally to me and I don't really know what to do. So I wanna end with just some breathing and some meditation, and then we'll pick it up next time. So if you're in a place where you can sit or lay and put your feet on the ground and close your eyes, I encourage you to do that. If you're walking or you're driving, feel free to just go into as relaxed of a state as you can while we take a few deep breaths.
Kelsey Redd:Breathe in and breathe out. Breathe in this next time and hold your inhale on the top. And exhale. We'll do another deep inhale in and hold. And sigh it out.
Kelsey Redd:Let's do one more just like that. Hold your inhale. And exhale, sigh it out. Great job, last one. Inhale.
Kelsey Redd:Hold. And sigh it out. Now allow your breathing to just return to a natural rhythm. But this time I just want you to imagine that every time you breathe in, you're breathing in bright white light. And every time you exhale, you're just breathing out anything that's not serving you.
Kelsey Redd:Inhale white light. Exhale stress and tension and anything that's not serving you. Let's do a few more breaths just like this. That white light I love to think of as God's pure love. Inhale God's love.
Kelsey Redd:Exhale anything that's not serving you. And start to just return to your normal rhythm. Continuing to just focus on your breath throughout the day. That's all I'm talking about when I tell you just take a few breaths. That's what I'm talking about.
Kelsey Redd:Sometimes it's breathing in the white light and breathing out whatever's not serving you. Other times you might just be listening to your breath and breathing in, breathing out. Just being aware of that breath is already a huge step in the right direction. I hope you were able to get an idea of how simple a two minute breath exercise or meditation can be. And I hope that you notice that even just after that short of a practice, that our bodies feel so much more relaxed.
Kelsey Redd:Our nervous system has calmed. Our emotions are a little more regulated and we are using the power of our parasympathetic nervous system to regulate our mind and our emotions and our bodies. I hope that this episode has given you some practical tools for implementing self care. Don't forget to grab the planner to help guide you through the process and feel free to re listen to the two minute meditation as often as you need or just start practicing that on your own a couple times a day. I will see you next time on Intentional Motherhood.