17 | From Sacrifice to Sanctified: A New Way to Mother with Joy & Purpose

Hey there friends, welcome back to Intentional Motherhood, where we're all about living that big soulful life while raising our kids with love and intention. I'm your host, Kelsey Redd, a stay at home mom just like you juggling four little ones under six. Yep, twins included, and trying to keep it real and keep it together. Today, we're diving into something that hits deep. It's that pressure to sacrifice everything for our kids versus the call to mother in a more sacred and vibrant way.

So we're gonna unpack why society cheers for sacrifice and how living counter culturally can fill your heart with more joy and purpose. So grab your Awala, go for a walk, and let's get into it. So let's talk about sacrifice. As moms, we're told it's our badge of honor. Society loves the image of the selfless mom.

Skipping her dreams, to pack lunches, staying up late to fold laundry, dropping everything when the kids need her. I've been there. I am there scrubbing the floors while my own goals sit on the shelf. I get it. But from social media to old school parenting books, we're fed this narrative that the more you give, the more you give of yourself, the more you give up, the better mom you are.

Sacrifices celebrated with phrases like, oh, she's such a devoted mom, when you cancel your plans, or skip your self care to take care of your kids. But here's the catch. That constant outpouring of energy can only leave you emotionally drained and even resentful. It's like pouring from an empty cup and the emotional toll of this, the exhaustion, the guilt for wanting more rips away from the vibrant, amazing woman you are, that is actually what would make you the best mom you can be. And this script doesn't just affect you, it also teaches your kids that love means self sacrifice.

And I don't think that's the legacy we want for our children. For us high vibe moms who crave spiritual growth, our dream life, wealth consciousness, fun and leisure outside of mothering, this feels misaligned to me. We want to live counterculturally choosing a path that honors our souls and our kids and our deeper purpose. So that's where sanctified mothering comes in. This is about mothering as a sacred call, channeling the love of God and His grace and energy through you so that you and your kids can both thrive.

Unlike sacrifice, which drains your energy away, sanctified mothering creates a flow of energy and joy. Imagine pausing during a toddler meltdown to breathe, to say, I'm okay. I'm doing the best I can. I am enough. God grant me the strength.

God grant me the grace. That breath shifts you from the frazzled mom that we typically see displayed to a more present, emotionally regulated mom. And your kids can feel and pick up on that energy too. When we're mothering from this energy of sanctified rather than sacrifice, instead of depletion, we're feeling more aligned, more alive, and more emotional energy to deal with all the things we deal with every day. So how do we do this?

How do we break away from this idea that motherhood is all about sacrifice and depletion? I'm gonna give you three ideas to help redirect your energy and to change our thought process, which changes our emotions. First, we can reframe the choices that we make from I'm giving up my time to do this with my kid. We can instead say, I'm choosing to make this connection with my child. We can ask ourselves at the end of the day, instead of saying something like, what did I not get to today?

We might say, what was a moment of joy and connection and love with one of my kids? Sometimes just a check-in helps us process the emotions that are filling our hearts. And you might need to use that check-in as an assessment of where you're at. If you're feeling resentful and bitter, if at the end of the day, you're feeling frustrated and annoyed, you might need to start auditing where your choices have been focused on sacrifice versus sanctification. And you might also need to be aware of changes in how you use your time so that you can fill your cup.

This goes back to all the self care things that we've talked about, which leads into our number two, which is using some of those sacred mini rituals to recharge your spirit. So while your kids are playing independently, taking just a couple moments for a micro meditation might just be 10 deep breaths, or it might be imagining yourself in a peaceful place. Sometimes I just go outside and look at the sky or the mountains and just take a deep breath and breathe in the divine energy of the universe. Maybe with a little prayer in my heart that says, give me the energy I need or help me to have a little bit more peace. Give me your love so I can give it to my kids, becoming that channel or that vessel for God's love rather than pouring out of your own reserves.

And lastly, we talk about this so much, but modeling emotional regulation to your kids to help rewrite this script. When the chaos hits, when everyone is crying and screaming, I try to sometimes channel my meditation voice and say, let's all take a deep breath in. Let's all take a deep breath. We're struggling right now. Let's take a deep breath.

I do this when we go into our family prayers. I say, Remember, prayers is also about listening. So let's take a deep breath. Let's be quiet and let's listen. And we sometimes get two to three seconds of silence and it's glorious.

This is building that intentional family culture and teaching your kids that love includes self care and self love. More than anything, I want my kids to see that I love motherhood, that I love mothering them. I don't want them to see me as a frazzled, frustrated, resentful woman who sacrificed everything to quote, quote, be the best mom and yet ended up hating being a mom. I want my kids to see that I balance doing things that I enjoy and having things outside of motherhood and channeling God's love and being spiritually connected and living as a mother who recognizes that it is a sacred calling and blessing and privilege to be a mother. I want them to see that I love being their mom.

And I also love myself and take care of myself. I want them to see that I make choices for connection and that I choose to do what I love, which is being their mom and enjoying time for myself. And I want them to see that all of this works together to make our entire family culture and the energy in our home one of uplifting and sanctified energy flow rather than constant frustration and depletion. I would love for this energy to be in our home all day every day. And I wish I could say that's the case, But I'm learning and I'm practicing these things as I teach them to you.

Some days are better than others. But I'm here to remind you and to remind myself that being a mom is a sacred calling that of course requires us to sacrifice and that is what creates the personal growth that makes it the PhD degree of life. And also, is a sacred calling that God has given us as women and that He therefore will enable us to fulfill. These are His children that we have the privilege and the stewardship of taking care of in this mortal life. And so He will help us, He will guide us, and He will give us direction for how to raise them, how to take care of them and ourselves.

And He will give us the grace and the power to do it in the best way we can. I have felt that when I have prayed for it. I have felt it when I've been at my breaking point or at my wit's end. And I have said, I need help. I need help getting through one more moment.

I need help getting through this next diaper change. I need help getting through this next bedtime. Because on my own, I'm done. I'm over it. I feel like I've given everything and my cup is empty.

And when I have said those prayers, that's when I feel that channel open up and that's when I feel like I become a vessel for God's love. Let me know if you can relate to this. I would love to hear your thoughts. Connect with me on Instagram at creating. Intentional.

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